Category Archives: facepalm!

Support Your Local Medical Examiner

There’s a snarky meme/ badge pin / livejournal icon I’ve seen before – and used, because I find it funny – that goes Support Your Local Medical Examiner: Die Strangely.

Well. I guess some people… took it to heart, maybe? o_O

But dangerous solo sex is becoming a global issue, with forensic examiners claiming one to two people per one million are killed annually in the act of searching for the ‘ultimate orgasm’, which in most fatal cases can mean oxygen deprivation.

It comes as the body of a man was reportedly found in Hamburg covered in sliced cheese with pantyhose pulled up over his upper body, while he was wearing a diving suit and a raincoat.

He had placed a plastic bag over his head and was sat in front of an active heater, according to local media.

Yanno, the whole idea of pursuing the ‘the little death’ is that you come out of it alive afterward… I mean, I’ve heard of the auto-erotic asphyxiation thing (Thanks so much, David Carradine, I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing about that) but the cheese, raincoat, diving hose and sitting in front of the heater is new. And how did this person find panty hose that fit over their upper body? Was it on top of the raincoat and diving hose?

I’ll leave aside that whole plastic bag over one’s head is a bad idea, because, as the Housemate told me when he linked it to me, “I’m pretty sure that guy was like “Time to fuck with the medical examiner.”

At any rate, that’s enough Internet for today.

The Democratic People’s Republic of NCWest

Or, how to efficiently kill off your longest-running product in a single sentence.

This wasn’t going to be my next post, but I am still stunned by the breath-takingly bad example here, that I decided to write about this. This is about gaming, so feel free to skip, unless you’d like the entertainment of watching a gaming company burn themselves to the ground with a single catastrophic post, highlighted by a single epically horrible line.

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All that fake news

I was looking for recipe posts to tag and came across the first ‘proper’ post I did here.

And laughed, cynically, because for all the screeching that alternative news sites are nothing but fake news…

the ‘proper’ news channels are sure good about faking up their news.

Waste of book

I usually am quite happy with secondhand book purchases, including those procured through online book shops. I get a number of books that way, especially nonfiction.

Most of the time, if there’s a bit of writing on the sides, I don’t mind it. Sometimes, I’ll find it interesting. My father used to write in book margins, usually expanding a bit on an underlined sentence or phrase.

So when I finally got a copy of Civilization and Its Enemies, and flipped through it briefly to see if the description I’d been given was accurate (Slight cover damage, some notations on the margins and underlined sections.) Continue reading

In Other Words…

So, I recently ran across this latest bit of mind-melting stupid:

See if you can make your way through thing without either wanting to slap the original author for making things horrible for other women, or for driving men away from the rest of us for being so batshit crazy, they’ll give up on the whole thing, (And then the entitled bitches will accuse men who say no of reverse raping them. Yes, I know the linked things are satire articles/tweets, but I’ve had the misfortune of having heard it as an actual argument in meatspace, specifically: ‘a woman is supposed to have the right to choose the man who she wants to father her children and have sex with,  and if he says no he is denying her that choice that she made, it’s forcing his will over her, thus, he is reverse raping her.’ Apparently, men having a choice/saying no/refusing to date/marry/etc is RAPE NOW, oh my Gods I hate you stupid tumblrfeminazis, you make my sex look retarded.)

Anyway, moving on to the original thing that had me praying ‘please Gods, may they not pass on their idiocy, or if they do there needs be an extinction event’ (I exaggerate. Slightly. Not by much though.)

In the piece, Bosiljevac explains that she and her friends even came up with a phrase to describe someone having sex with you who you didn’t want to have sex with even though you told him that you did, which they apparently consider a form of rape: “We coined the term ‘raped by rape culture’ to describe what it was like to say yes, coerced by the culture that had raised us and the systems of power that worked on us, and to still want ‘no,’” she writes in the April 30 article, titled “Why Yes Can Mean No.”
Bosiljevac writes that she’s been dealing with the oppression of this culture her whole life — beginning with having to endure relatives kissing her cheeks “even as I winced and turned away” — and that it continues to influence her sexual decision-making abilities, almost to the point where she doesn’t seem to think she really has any ability to make those decisions at all.

She describes one incident in particular in which she had hooked up with a guy who had asked her outright if she was okay with what was happening and she had told him “yes” — explaining that even though she had said “yes,” she had really meant “no,” and it wasn’t really entirely her fault that she couldn’t just say what she wanted: “Sometimes, for me, there was obligation from already having gone back to someone’s room, not wanting to ruin a good friendship, loneliness, worry that no one else would ever be interested, a fear that if I did say no, they might not stop, the influence of alcohol, and an understanding that hookups are ‘supposed’ to be fun,” she writes.

First off, you mental emotional self-amputee, you clearly misinterpret gestures of affection as being all ‘sexual.’ That reveals a lot more about you than anything else, because fucking ew let’s not go down the rabbit hole of your demented fantasies. Thank goodness you’ve decided to come out as a prickly landmine with more triggers than a hedgehog has spines; men – she’s absolutely NOT WORTH THE DRAMA OR THE RISK OF A RAPE ACCUSATION, make note of her name and appearance and warn your mates off!
Also, she’s clearly mentally incompetent, since she’s pretty much declared that she has absolutely no ability to make up her own mind, make decisions for her own sake, and has utterly no agency, thus she cannot possibly be a rational adult, because those know how to think for themselves, and make a decision and fucking take responsibility for themselves. She’s horny? It’s your fault, you patriarchal alpha male.
In other words, modern day feminists are completely incapable of controlling their own minds or body. Instead of arguing now for the freedom to exercise their abilities, rights and stand equal to men in law and society, they’re… asking to be treated like blow up dolls? Or something? I mean, they’d be a starfish, lying there anyway, because they’re too busy psychoanalyzing their every thought and running the mental hamster wheel.
How the hell do they manage to not starve themselves to death, or tie their shoes, or realise something like “crossing in front of that moving car, away from the pedestrian crossing, on the highway, while the little nongendered figure thing is standing and red might get me killed?”
If anyone ever figures that out, let me know. I have the mental image of a bunch of them acting like whales that are suicidally beaching themselves as a group, because one of them decided to DEFY THE LIMITATIONS OF THEIR SPECIES and … oh wait most of these people fit the moniker landwhales. Never mind.
Hang on. If they’re landwhales, wouldn’t that mean that the opposite of beaching themselves would be drowning?

Aff’s Official Thoughts 1

Shadowdancer’s Note: Aff recently encountered an article which moved him deeply enough to write an article and asked me to kindly post it here. He’s still ranting about the abject stupidity. This is resulting in a series of editorials that he has titled “Aff’s Official Thoughts On Stuff.”

I must warn readers to please set aside any drink or food for the duration of your reading of the article. We here at Affsdiary are not responsible for damage to screens or keyboards resulting from not heeding this warning.


Aff’s Note; if you are one of those ridiculously over-sensitive people that if told to duck for cover during a crisis you would then proceed to hold up a goose, get shot in the vagina, and proceed to scream ‘but my goose identified as a duck’ in protest as you proceeded to bleed more than you usually do, this post is not for you. In fact, this post will hurt your feelings. In anticipation of this, you can either complain to my e-mail (and be summarily ignored) or you can bash your head against a brick wall repeatedly until your skull fractures. But it’s ok, the brick walls identify as pillows.

“Aff’s Official Thoughts on Stuff 1: Guns ™”

Recently I viewed an article on a US based group of students attempting to protest guns being brought onto educational campuses by posting selfies of them flexing their muscles.

I find this stupid in about twenty different ways, and before I go into the details of the stupidity I feel I should qualify my opinion by giving you some context as to who I am and what I believe.

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Brain-twitch Inducing Stupid

So the other night, we had a run in with a social justice bully / overly sensitive fainting couch CHORF in one of the MMOs Aff / David and I play, Lineage II. There’s a level 99 quest that requires you to use global shout a certain number of times, and you only get 3 a day. So David, on his character Seda the elven healer, cracks jokes in the form of very obviously bad advice: “Constipated? Drink Draino! It’ll clear you right up!”

Someone replies to him in area shout, “That’s terrible advice and illegal to say!”

David, in the same spirit of cracking wise, goes “I’m Australian thus not subject to US laws, and cracking jokes is part of our culture, and if you’re offended by that, you’re a bigot.”

The stupid bint goes “That’s still horrible to say! Don’t you know that if you say things enough times, the person listening will come to believe it and actually do it?”

Aff blinks and goes “Hang on, so you mean if I say to you enough times that you’re supposed to drink draino, you’ll do it?”

Idiot: Yes, that’s called peer pressure.

Aff: If you listen to some random person give out bad advice as a joke in a game I think you have far more serious issues than listening to jokes in a game.

Idiot: You’re a healer! Healers are in a position of trust! People are going to listen to you! You’re the number one cause of suicide in the US!

Aff: I am? Really? …SWEET!!! (In party) Holy crap wtf is wrong with this bitch?

Seth & Me: … speechless at ‘position of trust

Gothpixie, who’s in our party, says in party chat: I guess that Lineage II is more popular than I thought.

Seth: Why do you say that?

Gothpixie: Because it means that lots of people play L2 for Aff to be the leading cause of suicide in the US.

we crack up

Idiot in area shout: OMG You’re a terrible person I’m going to report you I’m so traumatized by what you said you’re so going to be banned so that people will be safer from you!

THEN a game master suddenly pipes up in area shout and says “Actually no, because he’s not breaking any rules.”

…Seriously I get so much material for my comic, FML, I barely need to edit the dialogue.