Category Archives: facepalm!

Support Your Local Medical Examiner

There’s a snarky meme/ badge pin / livejournal icon I’ve seen before – and used, because I find it funny – that goes Support Your Local Medical Examiner: Die Strangely.

Well. I guess some people… took it to heart, maybe? o_O

But dangerous solo sex is becoming a global issue, with forensic examiners claiming one to two people per one million are killed annually in the act of searching for the ‘ultimate orgasm’, which in most fatal cases can mean oxygen deprivation.

It comes as the body of a man was reportedly found in Hamburg covered in sliced cheese with pantyhose pulled up over his upper body, while he was wearing a diving suit and a raincoat.

He had placed a plastic bag over his head and was sat in front of an active heater, according to local media.

Yanno, the whole idea of pursuing the ‘the little death’ is that you come out of it alive afterward… I mean, I’ve heard of the auto-erotic asphyxiation thing (Thanks so much, David Carradine, I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing about that) but the cheese, raincoat, diving hose and sitting in front of the heater is new. And how did this person find panty hose that fit over their upper body? Was it on top of the raincoat and diving hose?

I’ll leave aside that whole plastic bag over one’s head is a bad idea, because, as the Housemate told me when he linked it to me, “I’m pretty sure that guy was like “Time to fuck with the medical examiner.”

At any rate, that’s enough Internet for today.

The Democratic People’s Republic of NCWest

Or, how to efficiently kill off your longest-running product in a single sentence.

This wasn’t going to be my next post, but I am still stunned by the breath-takingly bad example here, that I decided to write about this. This is about gaming, so feel free to skip, unless you’d like the entertainment of watching a gaming company burn themselves to the ground with a single catastrophic post, highlighted by a single epically horrible line.

Continue reading

All that fake news

I was looking for recipe posts to tag and came across the first ‘proper’ post I did here.

And laughed, cynically, because for all the screeching that alternative news sites are nothing but fake news…

the ‘proper’ news channels are sure good about faking up their news.

Waste of book

I usually am quite happy with secondhand book purchases, including those procured through online book shops. I get a number of books that way, especially nonfiction.

Most of the time, if there’s a bit of writing on the sides, I don’t mind it. Sometimes, I’ll find it interesting. My father used to write in book margins, usually expanding a bit on an underlined sentence or phrase.

So when I finally got a copy of Civilization and Its Enemies, and flipped through it briefly to see if the description I’d been given was accurate (Slight cover damage, some notations on the margins and underlined sections.) Continue reading

In Other Words…

So, I recently ran across this latest bit of mind-melting stupid:

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/417855/student-op-ed-yes-means-yes-not-enough-because-sometimes-yes-means-no-katherine-timpf

See if you can make your way through thing without either wanting to slap the original author for making things horrible for other women, or for driving men away from the rest of us for being so batshit crazy, they’ll give up on the whole thing, (And then the entitled bitches will accuse men who say no of reverse raping them. Yes, I know the linked things are satire articles/tweets, but I’ve had the misfortune of having heard it as an actual argument in meatspace, specifically: ‘a woman is supposed to have the right to choose the man who she wants to father her children and have sex with,  and if he says no he is denying her that choice that she made, it’s forcing his will over her, thus, he is reverse raping her.’ Apparently, men having a choice/saying no/refusing to date/marry/etc is RAPE NOW, oh my Gods I hate you stupid tumblrfeminazis, you make my sex look retarded.)

Anyway, moving on to the original thing that had me praying ‘please Gods, may they not pass on their idiocy, or if they do there needs be an extinction event’ (I exaggerate. Slightly. Not by much though.)

In the piece, Bosiljevac explains that she and her friends even came up with a phrase to describe someone having sex with you who you didn’t want to have sex with even though you told him that you did, which they apparently consider a form of rape: “We coined the term ‘raped by rape culture’ to describe what it was like to say yes, coerced by the culture that had raised us and the systems of power that worked on us, and to still want ‘no,’” she writes in the April 30 article, titled “Why Yes Can Mean No.”
Bosiljevac writes that she’s been dealing with the oppression of this culture her whole life — beginning with having to endure relatives kissing her cheeks “even as I winced and turned away” — and that it continues to influence her sexual decision-making abilities, almost to the point where she doesn’t seem to think she really has any ability to make those decisions at all.

She describes one incident in particular in which she had hooked up with a guy who had asked her outright if she was okay with what was happening and she had told him “yes” — explaining that even though she had said “yes,” she had really meant “no,” and it wasn’t really entirely her fault that she couldn’t just say what she wanted: “Sometimes, for me, there was obligation from already having gone back to someone’s room, not wanting to ruin a good friendship, loneliness, worry that no one else would ever be interested, a fear that if I did say no, they might not stop, the influence of alcohol, and an understanding that hookups are ‘supposed’ to be fun,” she writes.

First off, you mental emotional self-amputee, you clearly misinterpret gestures of affection as being all ‘sexual.’ That reveals a lot more about you than anything else, because fucking ew let’s not go down the rabbit hole of your demented fantasies. Thank goodness you’ve decided to come out as a prickly landmine with more triggers than a hedgehog has spines; men – she’s absolutely NOT WORTH THE DRAMA OR THE RISK OF A RAPE ACCUSATION, make note of her name and appearance and warn your mates off!
Also, she’s clearly mentally incompetent, since she’s pretty much declared that she has absolutely no ability to make up her own mind, make decisions for her own sake, and has utterly no agency, thus she cannot possibly be a rational adult, because those know how to think for themselves, and make a decision and fucking take responsibility for themselves. She’s horny? It’s your fault, you patriarchal alpha male.
In other words, modern day feminists are completely incapable of controlling their own minds or body. Instead of arguing now for the freedom to exercise their abilities, rights and stand equal to men in law and society, they’re… asking to be treated like blow up dolls? Or something? I mean, they’d be a starfish, lying there anyway, because they’re too busy psychoanalyzing their every thought and running the mental hamster wheel.
How the hell do they manage to not starve themselves to death, or tie their shoes, or realise something like “crossing in front of that moving car, away from the pedestrian crossing, on the highway, while the little nongendered figure thing is standing and red might get me killed?”
If anyone ever figures that out, let me know. I have the mental image of a bunch of them acting like whales that are suicidally beaching themselves as a group, because one of them decided to DEFY THE LIMITATIONS OF THEIR SPECIES and … oh wait most of these people fit the moniker landwhales. Never mind.
Hang on. If they’re landwhales, wouldn’t that mean that the opposite of beaching themselves would be drowning?

Aff’s Official Thoughts 1

Shadowdancer’s Note: Aff recently encountered an article which moved him deeply enough to write an article and asked me to kindly post it here. He’s still ranting about the abject stupidity. This is resulting in a series of editorials that he has titled “Aff’s Official Thoughts On Stuff.”

I must warn readers to please set aside any drink or food for the duration of your reading of the article. We here at Affsdiary are not responsible for damage to screens or keyboards resulting from not heeding this warning.

 

Aff’s Note; if you are one of those ridiculously over-sensitive people that if told to duck for cover during a crisis you would then proceed to hold up a goose, get shot in the vagina, and proceed to scream ‘but my goose identified as a duck’ in protest as you proceeded to bleed more than you usually do, this post is not for you. In fact, this post will hurt your feelings. In anticipation of this, you can either complain to my e-mail (and be summarily ignored) or you can bash your head against a brick wall repeatedly until your skull fractures. But it’s ok, the brick walls identify as pillows.

“Aff’s Official Thoughts on Stuff 1: Guns ™”

Recently I viewed an article on a US based group of students attempting to protest guns being brought onto educational campuses by posting selfies of them flexing their muscles.

I find this stupid in about twenty different ways, and before I go into the details of the stupidity I feel I should qualify my opinion by giving you some context as to who I am and what I believe.

Continue reading

Brain-twitch Inducing Stupid

So the other night, we had a run in with a social justice bully / overly sensitive fainting couch CHORF in one of the MMOs Aff / David and I play, Lineage II. There’s a level 99 quest that requires you to use global shout a certain number of times, and you only get 3 a day. So David, on his character Seda the elven healer, cracks jokes in the form of very obviously bad advice: “Constipated? Drink Draino! It’ll clear you right up!”

Someone replies to him in area shout, “That’s terrible advice and illegal to say!”

David, in the same spirit of cracking wise, goes “I’m Australian thus not subject to US laws, and cracking jokes is part of our culture, and if you’re offended by that, you’re a bigot.”

The stupid bint goes “That’s still horrible to say! Don’t you know that if you say things enough times, the person listening will come to believe it and actually do it?”

Aff blinks and goes “Hang on, so you mean if I say to you enough times that you’re supposed to drink draino, you’ll do it?”

Idiot: Yes, that’s called peer pressure.

Aff: If you listen to some random person give out bad advice as a joke in a game I think you have far more serious issues than listening to jokes in a game.

Idiot: You’re a healer! Healers are in a position of trust! People are going to listen to you! You’re the number one cause of suicide in the US!

Aff: I am? Really? …SWEET!!! (In party) Holy crap wtf is wrong with this bitch?

Seth & Me: … speechless at ‘position of trust

Gothpixie, who’s in our party, says in party chat: I guess that Lineage II is more popular than I thought.

Seth: Why do you say that?

Gothpixie: Because it means that lots of people play L2 for Aff to be the leading cause of suicide in the US.

we crack up

Idiot in area shout: OMG You’re a terrible person I’m going to report you I’m so traumatized by what you said you’re so going to be banned so that people will be safer from you!

THEN a game master suddenly pipes up in area shout and says “Actually no, because he’s not breaking any rules.”


…Seriously I get so much material for my comic, FML, I barely need to edit the dialogue.

What the I don’t even you know what fuck you.

http://www.reaxxion.com/3720/totalbiscuit-is-sent-death-wish-by-anti-gamergate-for-promoting-charity

So there’s a charity event to help disabled gamers. Which, well, is freaking awesome because some of the most awesome, most badass people I’ve ever had the privilege to meet are disabled gamers. Think ‘wheelchair bound mostly unable to move limbs’ disabled. Think people who have been in horrible car accidents. Think kids who were born with unavoidable defects that trap them in less than optimal bodies, but have fully working brains. Think vets and cops who have been injured in the line of duty and for a number of them, this is the only social interaction they can have without being treated like cripples. These people also tend to be the nicest, most cheerful people I’ve ever met, and most of the time you never find out they’re disabled till you ask something like “Why is your vent not push to talk?” “Because I can’t reach it fast enough with the stick in my mouth.”

life in hard mode

So yeah, fucking do not ever deprive these guys of one of the few things that put them on even footing with the rest of the goddamn world, where they can be themselves and not ‘crippled.’

So anyway…

Two Anti-GG people ask for retweets and then flip the fuck out when TotalBiscuit (one of the biggest Gamergate supporters, apparently) actually takes them at face value and does exactly that. Because Ablegamers Charity for disabled gamers is fucking awesome.

He also does it because his company is partnered with the Ablegamers charity. Oops, didn’t know that? Of course not – Anti-GGers are too busy trying to hate the guy for daring to disagree and oppose them. Remember the previous post I mentioned about nerds and not wasting their time with social bullshit? Yeah, there’s a reason for that.

ThosewhocantCriticizethosewhocan

So really, who’s the haters here? Who’s intolerant? Oh and attacking the guy based on his cancer treatment? Really classy and humanistic of you. Not.

Anti-GGers are proving themselves that they are the most hateful shitfaces on the face of the earth quite easily. And the bystanders like myself are just staring then facepalming when we take them entirely on the face of their actions. Holy crap. Epic, epic fail.

Seriously, it’s like this level of epic failure: suicide bombers blow themselves up on TV by mistake.

 

Good to know that there are men still willing to do what’s right

PS3-Got-PWNED-by-TIME-2

Rape victim’s boyfriend accused of brutally beating suspect

The slight nitpick I have is, since the rapist was caught in the act of raping the woman, wouldn’t that be ‘perp’ or ‘perpetrator’ and not ‘suspect’?

On a completely different, but related tangent…

Warning: facepalm and potentially rage inducing. The epic amounts of stupid may cause locking up of your brain.

Merely existing does not equate to Holocaust

 

Law students complain rape law too traumatizing to study, law professors say

When she showed her class “Capturing the Friedmans,” a documentary about a criminal-sex-abuse investigation, some students complained that she should have given them a “trigger warning” beforehand, and others suggested she shouldn’t have shown the film at all, Suk stated.

Suk added that one of her peers was recently asked by a student “not to use the word ‘violate’ in class—as in ‘Does this conduct violate the law?’—because the word was triggering, and some students have even suggested that rape law should not be taught because of its potential to cause distress.”

“[M]y experience at Harvard over the past couple of years tells me that the environment for teaching rape law and other subjects involving gender and violence is changing,” Suk stated. “Students seem more anxious about classroom discussion, and about approaching the law of sexual violence in particular, than they have ever been in my eight years as a law professor.”

Please tell me that these fragile speshul snowflakes were given failing grades and advised to take up a different career, preferably very far away from law and medicine? What the hell are these ‘students’ doing in college, never mind law school?!

Too Stupid To Insult

Speaking of brainbreaking, I’m not sure if someone should link this to John C. Wright, or any other Christian I know. I mean, I love the way the good Mr. Wright becomes delightfully erudite when it comes to dismantling stupid, but this one is one that had me wanting to head-desk, and I would not to cause the man to sputter in outrage.

http://www.wnd.com/2015/01/anti-christian-activist-god-raped-mary/

And no, direct not your ire at the writer of the article, but rather the ‘activist’ with nae functioning brain cells in the space that lies twixt her ears; the skull there merely exists to give shape to the skin and muscles that coat it. There’s nothing inside. On the topic of the author of this article, I cheered when reading

actually believe in said “rape culture,” something that, outside of Islam, does not exist,
Because it is true. (Don’t believe me? Find out what happens to a woman when she is convicted of a crime and sentenced to die. Virgins cannot be executed according to Islamic law, so the police ensure that the woman is not a virgin.)
But I digress.
Summary of the madness is, this psychotic misandrist goes on and on, out of whole cloth, that the Virgin Mary was ‘raped’ by God.
implied-facepalm
I guess the people who like to push this narrative like to ignore that Mary gave her consent and that the angel who came to her pretty much told her that she was chosen before the act of holy conception happened.
26 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth,
27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary.
28 And he came to her and said, “Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!”
29 But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered in her mind what sort of greeting this might be.
30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.
31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus.
32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David,
33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
34 And Mary said to the angel, “How shall this be, since I have no husband?”
35 And the angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.
36 And behold, your kinswoman Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren.
37 For with God nothing will be impossible.”
38 And Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
A casual reading of the text shows that Mary didn’t go into this blindly or without questioning, she actively questions the angel sent to her. In fact, the angel, said to be Gabriel, has to convince her that this is even possible.
Whoops. Guess she wasn’t the blind accepting doormat that people like to paint her as, huh? Hell, being a woman of her time, she knew fully well that conceiving outside of wedlock would result in her likely death. It’s for that reason that I consider her one of the bravest women in history.
Misandrist SJWs will never let reality, facts and truth get in the way of an agenda-driven hate filled rant, right?
*memetastic post because you guys get the fruits of my distractions.

FsckMyLife 7 up on Deviantart and Forums

In case you don’t have a Deviantart account, I’ve posted strip number 7 up on the forums for everyone to view. Due to the rules of dA I marked it mature content.

F.M.L. 7 – PEBKAC

As always feel free to comment either on the forums or here. ^_^

 

Compare and contrast a woman versus grrrrl

Merely existing does not equate to Holocaust

So I spotted this article about a psychotic hosebeast of epic proportions on Larry Correia’s twitter:

http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/12/10/The-Madness-Of-Queen-Shanley

Some of the battles Kane has fought on behalf of the sisterhood include objecting to the use of the device terminology “master” and “slave” (they’re “oppressive”, apparently), flouncing off websites for being called out on parasitic financial practices, telling women that if they have a male co-founder he will probably rape them one day and attacking prominent academics such as Vivek Wadhwa, who works tirelessly on behalf of women and minorities in Silicon Valley.

By any reasonable person’s definition, and even by the standards of Silicon Valley, Kane is an abusive engine of discord, creating precisely the opposite conditions to those needed for happy co-operation between the sexes. So how did she land a feature-length profile in Matter, Silicon Valley’s long-read organ of choice—even though her paranoia and control freakery eventually screwed up what would probably have been a fawning profile and left journalists and readers alike aghast at her childishness and self-destructiveness?

(In case you’re not familiar with the story, follow those two links, which have to be read to be believed. Evidently Matter started calling around, asking people about Kane’s personal and professional life in preparation for their profile of her and her work—doing journalism, in other words—and she threw a hissy fit and started defaming and smearing the journalists in question, who were respectable professionals, beyond reproach in their dealings with her.)

While my gob is totally smacked by the massive screeching witchhunt that this Shanley crazy did over proper fact-checking investigative journalism, Kate Paulk links me this delightful contrast.

http://www.linuxjournal.com/content/girls-and-software

Seriously, it is a joy to behold for those of us who actually value true equality and meritocracy.

Open source was my refuge because it was a place were nobody cared what my pedigree was or what I looked like—they cared only about what I did. I ingratiated myself to people who could help me learn by doing dull scutwork: triaging issues to keep the issue queues neat and orderly, writing documentation and fixing code comments. I was the helpful kid, so when I needed help, the community was there. I’d never met another programmer in real life at this point, but I knew more about programming than some college students.

It Really Is about Girls (and Boys)

Twelve-year-old girls today don’t generally get to have the experiences that I did. Parents are warned to keep kids off the computer lest they get lured away by child molesters or worse—become fat! That goes doubly for girls, who then grow up to be liberal arts majors. Then, in their late teens or early twenties, someone who feels the gender skew in technology communities is a problem drags them to a LUG meeting or an IRC channel. Shockingly, this doesn’t turn the young women into hackers.

Why does anyone, anywhere, think this will work? Start with a young woman who’s already formed her identity. Dump her in a situation that operates on different social scripts than she’s accustomed to, full of people talking about a subject she doesn’t yet understand. Then tell her the community is hostile toward women and therefore doesn’t have enough of them, all while showing her off like a prize poodle so you can feel good about recruiting a female. This is a recipe for failure.

Honestly, the problem comes from caring too much about the superficial stuff, versus the really meaningful and important things. The constant obsession about sex, sexuality, and who you’re sexually attracted to lends to really boring conversation and people because guess what – people aren’t just their sex drives and their sexual organs to me. Thankfully, the ones who do constantly focus on the superficial unimportant crap – SJWs and their endless focus on gender, race, sexuality – are very loud and obvious and I can steer clear of them. I seriously DO NOT CARE about your ethnicity, dangle-or-boobs, or boinkchoice, I’m more interested in if ‘you are a jerkass’ or ‘can I actually talk to you without you biting my head off in a giant ragefit of a rant simply because we disagree’?

I’m not the only one baffled by this.

http://prosebeforehohos.com/2014/12/10/on-diversity/

Seriously, the people who whine and cry about their hurt feels are not new. I leave you with the wonderful Ray Bradbury’s words on that.

http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/451/451.html

The point is obvious. There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches. Every minority, be it Baptist / Unitarian, Irish / Italian / Octogenarian / Zen Buddhist, Zionist/Seventh-day Adventist, Women’s Lib/Republican, Mattachine/FourSquareGospel feel it has the will, the right, the duty to douse the kerosene, light the fuse. Every dimwit editor who sees himself as the source of all dreary blanc-mange plain porridge unleavened literature, licks his guillotine and eyes the neck of any author who dares to speak above a whisper or write above a nursery rhyme.

      Fire-Captain Beatty, in my novel Fahrenheit 451, described how the books were burned first by the minorities, each ripping a page or a paragraph from the book, then that, until the day came when the books were empty and the minds shut and the library closed forever.

      “Shut the door, they’re coming through the window, shut the window, they’re coming through the door,” are the words to an old song. They fit my lifestyle with newly arriving butcher/censors every month. Only six months ago, I discovered that, over the years, some cubby-hole editors at Ballantine Books, fearful of contaminating the young, had, bit by bit, censored some 75 separate sections from the novel. Students, reading the novel which, after all, deals with the censorship and book-burning in the future, wrote to tell me of this exquisite irony. Judy-Lynn Del Rey, one of the new Ballantine editors, is having the entire book reset and republished this summer with all the damns and hells back in place.

 

 

On Behalf of Lovecraft…

Relinking Larry Correia’s facepalming and defence of Lovecraft.

Fisking the Guardian again, this time for HP Lovecraft.

I had visions of Larry’s fingers twitching every now and then in the general direction of his tetsubo.

 

 

Edit: Actually, have two glorious fiskings. Larry’s is about Lovecraft, and this other one fisks one about Frozen.

 

http://chezapocalypse.com/thefrozenthing/

I’m actually yelling at the screen at the sheer amount of idiocy. I’m VERY glad the person doing the fisking read the article for me because goddamnit even just the quotations sound like someone left their brain in the jar for the day.