Monthly Archives: December 2014

Yamanama’s epic stalker breakdown.

I’ve an update up on the Yamanama aka Andrew P. Marston the Stalker PSA thread. It is a rather epic illustration of how some people are apparently placed on this planet to be horrible warnings to the rest of the human race – and possibly others as well. Andrew P. Marston of Marshfield, Massachusetts, is clearly one of these things. Over the years, he has displayed absolutely appalling levels of misogyny and racism towards myself, shown himself to be a liar and a stalker who holds the most absolute of double-standards of ‘not for thee but for me,’ has no problems violating laws or invading his victims’ privacy when it suits him to do so, has no issues with harassment, defamation, slander, public smear, misrepresentation and intellectual theft as long as he’s the one using them, but the moment that anyone tries to defend themselves, fights back, or exposes him, he attempts desperately to implement¬† DARVO tactics

This is why yama always tries to accuse but never gives proof of his accusations

DARVO tactics description

Happily the attempts to do this to myself don’t work, as I’ve carefully kept a public record of his words and harassment over the years. Since I’m doing the unthinkable – a little Asian woman daring to defy the white-man-bully that he is- he makes the completely unfounded claims that I am the ‘stalker’. This is very clearly not the case and his behaviour as a whole has remained entirely unchanged throughout the years, at least since the documentation I’ve seen of the last group he harassed back in 2005.

Notably Yama aka Andrew is very keen to have the records of that incident erased, as it documents his use of pornography and illegal pornographic content, in a deliberate attempt to expose two eleven year old girls to it – something he did because he wanted to punish the mother for her beliefs (Which, I grant, are unpleasant since she’s a white supremacist) but note that Andrew P. Marston went after the children, not the mother. This was something he felt was completely acceptable to do. This in turn makes his threats towards my own family quite credible as a result. Andrew has already gone after my housemate Aff, and my partner Rhys to harass for their association with me (as documented by the sticky)- thus if he had the opportunity to harm my children, he would clearly do so as past evidence proves.

There are indications from the way Andrew has spoken that he has my home address and my phone number and dispersed it Рeither partially or in whole Рto persons unknown.  Presumably the people he would have revealed these details to might be encouraged to take action against what they think are soft, easy targets. Whether this is mere harassment, or even greater harmful intent is speculation at this point, but of one thing we can be certain: Andrew P. Marston means my family nothing but harm and there is nothing but hatred and malice in his actions.

I understand that the blogger, writer, publisher and Internet personage Vox Day is in the midst of initiating legal proceedings against Andrew. Regardless of what you may think of the man, he is quite correct that 56 months of harassment from Andrew P. Marston is quite long enough – I myself have been harassed by Andrew since late 2009. That’s going For some reason, Andrew thinks I am the instigator of this process, or at the very least is desperate to paint me as the person responsible for what he demonstrably is falsely claiming is harassment and stalking. Prior to very recent events, while I did refer to Vox’s blog for additional evidence of Andrew’s harassment and stalking, I had not participated nor commented on that blog. The only reason I did so recently was because Andrew was exploiting a flaw in Blogger/Blogspot’s comment permissions and attempting to impersonate other people in a desperate attempt to paint himself as a victim, and I headed off the possibility of him stealing my identity in such a high-traffic place. Invariably, he did attempt this, but I am fortunate enough to have a place that Andrew cannot exploit and pretend to be someone else on – namely, my website, and the associated Affsdiary Forums. It is a digital place where Andrew is unwelcome, and cannot pretend to be someone else, nor use proxies and other methods of obscurement on.

For those who are his victims, it is a simple matter to create an account and establish their own identity there, and create their own proof thread to show they are in fact the ones posting on blogger or Blogspot.

After reading through Andrew’s temper tantrum from over my shoulder, a friend of mine notes:

Have you ever had that feeling that you’re standing in a room where everyone hates you, and wishes you would move along like a bad fart?

I bet Yama gets that every day.

There’s surgery for disfigurements, and medications for certain mental conditions. There isn’t any help for stupid, and Andrew here has a terminal case of it.

Quod erat demonstrandum, in ways irrefutable indeed.



I keep doin’ this to myself

Elven Fried Bread


So, I spent a rather insomniac night craving doughnuts, so I bounced around the Internet, gazing hungrily at doughnut recipes, because I’ve never made doughnuts before.

Well, okay I was also looking up ideas for making black forest truffle balls, because I am seriously, seriously missing me some Red Ribbon Black Forest Cake. ;_; (The last one I had, ever, was thanks to Ford Prefect42 and Akilika! Thank you~! I treasure the memory . )

So thanks to that, I ended up on a blog called Let The Baking Begin! Aaaaaaaaand in the manner that one usually ends up Trapped In TVTropes, by the time I resurfaced, it was 5 am in the morning.

Thanks to that I have a nice recipe for latkes that I want to try sometime. And a recipe for home-made soft cheese.

I am casting the puppy eyes at Rhys to help me make these doughnuts. And possibly fried elven bread – a more savory, salty, as addictive as popcorn bread that I make.

I probably should explain that one a bit more.

When I was a teen/early twenties I was able to get my hands on the Leaves from the Inn of the Last Home Dragonlance sourcebook. To my delight, they had recipes, and one of the recipes was for a travelling fried flat bread sometimes referred to as elven bread because the Kagonesti made the things. Being simple it was one of the first things I made out of the book. Yes, I didn’t make Otik’s Fried Potatoes; I wasn’t very good with spices at the time. Shocking, I know.

(Mutters: I haven’t seen the book since we last moved house. grumbles!)

Baked it was a bit dense and got hard very quickly (we guessed it may have to do with the flour) but my mom and I decided to try the fried version, which is the one favoured by ‘adventurers and wilder elves’, hence the resulting name.

It was good. We ended up with a chewy, addictive bread, but still lacking something.

Flour was cheap. So was oil. Over the next while, we made batches of the fried bread, tweaking and adjusting. My brothers were happy to eat the experiments anyway and we hadn’t had any problems with the amount we made.

I found the notebook I wrote the resulting recipe in (It’s got oil splatter on it, hahaha) so I’m sharing it now. It’s a deep fried, salty, chewy bread, that we make into small balls and eat like popcorn while watching movies or reading books.


Elven Fried Bread, inspired from the Dragonlance recipe


2 cup water

4 cups flour

1 tablespoon salt

1/2 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon yeast (I use a granulated yeast) / 1 packet yeast

1/4c (plus more for your hands) olive oil (I tend to use extra virgin olive oil)

Mix 1 cup water, at body-temperature warmth (what I call ‘blood-warm’, since it’s actually warmer than body temperature and hotter than lukewarm) with sugar, and dissolve. Add the yeast and let it grow in the water.

Dissolve the salt in the other cup of water. In a bowl, sift the flour and make a well.

When the yeast has bubbled, pour into the flour and mix to make into a sticky dough. Add about a handful of olive oil and mix it in – this helps make the dough flexible and chewy, as well as adds flavour, and has the side benefit of helping keep the bread from sticking too much to the bowl. You’ll end up with a very sticky, stretchy dough. If you want to knead it you may, but I tend not to.

Cover with a damp cloth and set in a warm place to rise for 1-2 hours.

Heat enough cooking oil for deep frying.

Oil hands and pinch off enough bread dough to make a 2-3 cm wide flat circles and slide into the hot oil. Or balls the size of quarters / 20 Australian cent pieces. Fry on both sides till golden brown, drain in a colander with a paper towel on the bottom. Best while hot.


The original version sounds a lot like American Fried Dough.

Now if y’all will excuse me I’m gonna make a batch of this stuff, because writing it up made me hungry hungry hungry.





An Attempt By Yamamanama To Impersonate Me

So while walking back and forth between my computer and my kitchen, checking on recipes while cooking I get an alert on my email saying that “I” had just posted on Vox Day’s blog.

Uhm. What the shit? I head that off right fast.

For future reference, any comments I make on Blogspot, or sites where impersonation of another is possible, will be posted in this thread with the unfortunately necessary diligence in order to prove that I am me.

If anyone is unsure if the person they are talking to is myself, register on the forums, and send me a private message. As the site is hosted by ourselves, we can at least ensure the authenticity of my own identity here, as well as ensure for our own security that the person on the other end is NOT yama.

The online websites I currently participate in discussion in are:

Shadowdancer Studios (my own website) and these forums at
According To Hoyt
Mad Genius Club
Monster Hunter Nation
TLKnighton’s website
Cedar Writes
(very rarely) Google Plus.

and, as only of a few days ago, Vox Popoli, in order to establish my own identity as Yama had begun to impersonate other people there in order to facilitate his own misdirection and misrepresentation in an attempt to whitewash his own actions and claim victimhood as well as desperately attempting to muddy the waters while he slings more shit around him. He has made false claims that I ‘suggested’ to Vox that someone named Emma be stalked, when in fact I have no idea who this even references. He attempted to make it sound like Jordan179 was ‘in on the plot.’

If it is someone local to him, then he believes that I have, somehow, the magic capability of being able to have the influence and connections necessary to ID his friends, and believes that I have the same kind of inclinations and obsessions he does. If that were the case why am I restricting myself to documenting his activities of harassment online? Beyond where his IP address geolocates (which only goes as far as either Marshfield or Duxbury Massachusetts), I have no idea where he lives, and honestly have no intention of finding out – why would I?! He behaves as if I would do to him what he has attempted to do to me – namely attempted to crowdsource harassment of myself and my friends online – and is now behaving as if I would source harassment of his friends outside of the Internet based simply because of their association with him.

This is a classic Yama projection (believing that I will act, think and behave the same way he does), and has me wondering if he has attempted to do this to me RL as well. I am already aware that he likes to bring me up in completely unrelated places and frequently will do so in places where he thinks he may garner support in encouraging dislike of myself based on his lies, smears and baseless accusations.

Unlike Yama I have a life and a family, and books to write and friends I spend time with. I do not spend all of my time hounding someone I don’t like – I will generally ignore them and avoid them instead.

It is because Yama himself chooses NOT to leave me alone that ensures that this documentation even continues to exist. In fact he came after me when I all but vanished from the blogosphere because I had no time for it and played L2 as my mode of relaxation when I came home from work. There was no reason for him to do this. The game had nothing to do with RL politics, or Muslims, or such, yet Yama felt that my mere presence there was enough for him to go to the forums and then harass people there.

He has been actively stalking me for whatever demented reason he has, that none of us can actually figure out, since late 2009. Andrew P. Marston has made it his life’s work to destroy me online, to try and drive me off the Internet.

Here’s a thought for the people reading this:

Who has he managed to do this to, that he is so determined to keep doing this? How many victims has he had, that I am unaware of, that we are unaware of? From his harassment of Larry Correia, Sarah Hoyt, Vox Day, Tom Kratman, John C. Wright and many other authors, it is clear that I am not his only target in attempts to silence whatever it is we have to say, whether it is politics or our writing books, or simply enjoying ourselves.

Who else has he targeted and successfully driven away from their joys and passion and friends online?


This post was originally written up for the Stalker Sticky Thread.

Please also be advised that any announcements I make about communications will be reiterated here and on the forums. Any other attempt by other people and sources to pretend to be me and make false announcements about my modes of communication will NOT be able to do that. If it doesn’t exist on Shadowdancer Studios and the Affsdiary Forums, then it didn’t come from me.

Note: I do have some blogger pages but I don’t post there and am not using them. Consider them abandoned for lack of security and privacy control.

Our first real tree

The current post over at Mad Genius Club talks about the trials and tribulations of the holiday season, especially if one has cats that like to climb Christmas trees. Having spent the evening after filling the stockings for the children cuddled up with Rhys, marvelling that somehow, we’d managed to put together a Christmas for the kiddlywinks, and reminiscing as we watched the tree lights sparkle, I find myself reminiscing again – this time about the first time we had a proper Christmas tree. As a child in the Philippines, the tree I remembered having was made out of little pine cones shaped into a Christmas tree that came from Baguio. It wasn’t big and we could put it on top of the TV.

The first Christmas we had in East Berlin, I bought the tree, and my classmate and I carried it home. My father had plans of buying a plastic tree but I would have none of it! We were in Germany and we could finally have a proper Tanenbaum! But no, my father reasoned that it seemed cruel to get a cut tree. This made no sense to me as the tree was grown and cut for that purpose, and since it was cut already, it was a waste not to use it for the reason why it was cut down.

I was telling my friend about this while walking home the 2 or more kilometers home from school. She was quite baffled at the thought of a plastic tree, but reasoned that it was too hot where I came from for tanenbaumen, when we saw someone selling trees out of a truck in a parking lot. My friend suggested buying one. I made up my mind right there to buy a tree if I could afford one with my pocket money. I had enough money for a 2 meter tall tree, which was the smallest one available.

Everyone else buying trees, I remember, was a grown up. The sight of two children, one German and the other a tiny little auslanderin, very seriously picking out which tree to buy, seemed to be a source of amusement. We didn’t mind them; this was, to our minds, something important!

Nevertheless, we picked out a tree, and paid the five marks for it. The man selling it asked if we lived nearby. No, we replied, we lived at (street), and he remarked at how far we had to go. Yet these two little girls lifted the tree onto their shoulders, and trudged off, with those darned heavy leather schoolbags on our shoulders digging in through our anoraks. I remember people pausing to watch us go by, because we looked like a horizontal tree that had sprouted legs.

It was afternoon, but the sky was already pitch dark, and snowflakes, big fat clumps of white, drifted out of the darkness and into the street lights we followed to our apartment building. The day was very cold, but carrying the tree, which was heavier than either of us had anticipated, kept us warm, and the tree itself shielded us from quite a bit of wind chill.

My mother was quite shocked to find out that we had walked the whole way; we said the tree wouldn’t have fit through the bus’ door. My brothers were simply excited that we had a tree!

My friend showed us how to have the tree set up. We went back down with a pail and filled it with sand from the little playground next to the apartment building, and we planted the tree into the bucket of sand and stood it to one side of the living room, next to the windows.

Afterward my mother plied us with drinks of hot chocolate and cookies bought from the West side of Berlin. She made up a thank you gift of food and treats and gave them to my friend when it was time for her to go home.

My father was surprised by the tree when he got home, and shocked to find out how we’d gotten it there. Seeing as I’d made such an effort, he decided that we go out and buy decorations, so we drove out to the West side and came home with lots of decorations and decorated the tree that same night. It looked quite magical to us, that first proper tanenbaum and my father conceded that I’d been right to push for a real tree. In the years we stayed in Germany, every Christmas we got a proper, real Tanenbaum. We went with the plastic trees later on, but by then we were all quite a bit older, and Christmas was less about the tree and the presents and more about the company, the religious connotations, the social gatherings and the food.

I am very clearly the center of the universe or something for someone

For a certain ridiculously persistent stalker and social plague, that is.

Because Picard for the win~

I mean, there’s gotta be a reason why I’m constantly being dragged up in conversations which have nothing to do with me, especially over the past few days where I’ve been too busy and physically fried to actually keep up with things online.

Coz, you know, Christmas preparations and all that, in real life, mean that I’m kinda swamped and busy. Especially with baking things (there may be actual posts about that, we’ll see) and other things.

At any rate, have yet another update of the Stalker Sticky as well as the Spewdonym List.


Edited to add:

Vox Day has two very fascinating posts:

Pity the Troll – Part 1 and Part 2

Woah. /keanureeves The stuff I discover when I resurface from being AFK RL BUSY MODE.

eta: Okay having read through a chunk of that, I think it’s a good idea to put this out there once more. This was a facepalming flame directed at Yama on Jordan’s blog yeaaaaaaaaaars ago. It bears repeating now.


Seriously, where were you when God was handing out brains? And why, why, why is it starting to look like that your ancestors went out for tacos instead of waiting for their Apple from the Tree of Knowledge? It’s gotta be like that because there is no way this much stupid could be distilled down to three successive generations, which makes me boggle. How in the name of Darwin did natural selection not get you?

I mean it. Anyone with two neurons floating in the center of a sac of saline would have cottoned on at light speed how that ‘plan’ was going to go very, very, very, epically fail. And mutate into so much wrongness, I’m surprised that the Gods haven’t struck it down as an abomination of reality.


A friend of mine also linked these to me.

Dropping them here for later reading.


Added 11:38 AM

Yama is getting very, very desperate to try squirt ink and muddy the waters by spoofing somehow Jordan179’s blogspot account.

Here’s the associated screenshots highlighting the vast difference of commentary (link, because the image causes quite a bit of side scroll). Note that Count Bullets-ula is Yama in the last screenshot, where he starts trying to make the spurious claim that I had Vox stalk this Emma person, who I don’t know and have never heard of before. If she’s the girl in the video Vox links on his blog, I did not watch, as I’m not really into hipster stuff and since the close up image is of her nostril, I’m not likely to click. The fake Jordan179 makes the same claim. This is demonstrably stupid, as I actually TALK to Jordan179, and stupider still, since I have Jordan’s RL address because I have plans to send him a present. So I KNOW where Jordan lives.

Note the posting of Yama as an anonymous in thethread that the real Jordan links. Again, Yama makes the comment of ‘filing spurious reports’, desperate to make it sound like Jordan has done so, when Jordan has actually said outright that he hasn’t filed any police reports.

Yama’s visted my LJ no less than three times from the times I’ve checked. Yeesh.

Speaking of LJ, Yama is currently harassing someone I look up to as an artist and writer, MCA Hogarth. Over Cuba. Where Micah is FROM. Pay attention to how he pooh-poohs the suffering of her family, by trying to draw the false equivalence that ‘people have it worse.’

ETA AGAIN 12:27pm Dec 22 2014 Australian Eastern Time:

Hey! Look who just visited!

Clearly Yama’s not happy that I’m able to show he’s pretending to be Jordan.

I like how he’s tacitly admitting to be Jordan in his reply.

Yep I hit a nerve.


I have decided to comment over on Vox Populi for the first time.

First, this is to establish my identity so that Yama cannot try to pretend to be me, as he is currently doing with Jordan179, and apparently, Markku in the Vox Populi blog.

Second, as proof that this was me commenting, I have taken a screenshot of my post, and posted it here and in the Stalker Sticky thread.

(oops. Looks like I made a mistake, and the old comment got eaten since I’ve never really posted to blogspot before. Here’s my updated comment.)

I will ALSO make the point of posting screenshots of my own comments to prove that I am the one posting in the Forums as that is someplace where Yama has been banned from and is unable to post to.


Or, PSA – my email address is being spoofed

Hi all

Please be advised: at this point in time my gmail is only a forwarding address and I do not reply using that, nor do I send any emails through this any longer. I use it as an initial contact point because it was my email address for years and years but it seems someone out there is spoofing it and sending malicious emails / spam / possibly infected emails.

I will tell people to contact me initially through that email address ([email protected]) but I will not reply using that same email.

If this seems abrupt and cranky it’s because I’ve been dealing with this all night long and haven’t slept yet.

I have asked friends to also pass this on, so if you got a link to here that’s why. Thank you for your patience.

-Shadowdancer / Rory / R.K. Modena


Completely unrelated to the above, I’ve updated both the PSA Sticky and the Spewdonym List.

These were heroes.

In the wake of the Sydney hostage ‘siege‘, and in the wake of several schools being attacked by Islamic extremists/Taliban in Pakistan, there are ordinary people who will step up.

These are the people I choose to believe in.

This was a man, not a boy, who stopped a suicide bomber from killing more people at his school.

These were ordinary people, with ordinary lives, with extraordinary hearts and spirits.

Your families grieve for your passing and having lost you. I salute your bravery and sacrifice, and mourn that such wonderful human beings were taken from this earth.