So, I recently ran across this latest bit of mind-melting stupid:
See if you can make your way through thing without either wanting to slap the original author for making things horrible for other women, or for driving men away from the rest of us for being so batshit crazy, they’ll give up on the whole thing, (And then the entitled bitches will accuse men who say no of reverse raping them. Yes, I know the linked things are satire articles/tweets, but I’ve had the misfortune of having heard it as an actual argument in meatspace, specifically: ‘a woman is supposed to have the right to choose the man who she wants to father her children and have sex with, and if he says no he is denying her that choice that she made, it’s forcing his will over her, thus, he is reverse raping her.’ Apparently, men having a choice/saying no/refusing to date/marry/etc is RAPE NOW, oh my Gods I hate you stupid tumblrfeminazis, you make my sex look retarded.)
Anyway, moving on to the original thing that had me praying ‘please Gods, may they not pass on their idiocy, or if they do there needs be an extinction event’ (I exaggerate. Slightly. Not by much though.)
In the piece, Bosiljevac explains that she and her friends even came up with a phrase to describe someone having sex with you who you didn’t want to have sex with even though you told him that you did, which they apparently consider a form of rape: “We coined the term ‘raped by rape culture’ to describe what it was like to say yes, coerced by the culture that had raised us and the systems of power that worked on us, and to still want ‘no,’” she writes in the April 30 article, titled “Why Yes Can Mean No.”Bosiljevac writes that she’s been dealing with the oppression of this culture her whole life — beginning with having to endure relatives kissing her cheeks “even as I winced and turned away” — and that it continues to influence her sexual decision-making abilities, almost to the point where she doesn’t seem to think she really has any ability to make those decisions at all.
She describes one incident in particular in which she had hooked up with a guy who had asked her outright if she was okay with what was happening and she had told him “yes” — explaining that even though she had said “yes,” she had really meant “no,” and it wasn’t really entirely her fault that she couldn’t just say what she wanted: “Sometimes, for me, there was obligation from already having gone back to someone’s room, not wanting to ruin a good friendship, loneliness, worry that no one else would ever be interested, a fear that if I did say no, they might not stop, the influence of alcohol, and an understanding that hookups are ‘supposed’ to be fun,” she writes.