I’ll see you again

My darling Brandon.
Picture of Brandon wearing shirt that says made with love.
How quickly he had become an irreplaceable presence in our lives.

There will always be a hole in our lives where he used to be, but he won’t be forgotten.

We bid another son goodbye on Thursday, and I’m finally numb enough that I can write a little about it.

I asked for photos of the flower arrangements. We kept the little blue teddy bear. I cried as Rhys and I gave Brandon a last cuddle. After a while – an eternity that felt like it went by too quickly – we tucked him into the last little box he’ll ever sleep in.

Picture of funeral flowers

image of funeral flowers

Brandon looked like he was only asleep. He was snugly swaddled, and wore a little blue baby cap to cover the stitches, which I saw anyway because I asked for a lock of his hair to keep.

I edited out the surname as Rhys is active military.
Image of Brandon's name plaque

We printed a series of photos where Brandon was held by each of us. We never got a chance to take a family group photo, but we got a photo of Brandon with his big sister and brother, and of each of us grownups holding him.
crematory pedestal

The white blanket I had wrapped Damien in briefly; we thought it would be nice for the brothers to have shared something we could touch.
Brandon's coffin

The padre lead the service but I couldn’t really recount much of what he said. He asked for someone to say a few words to remember Brandon by, and his grandfather made a short speech, which made us cry because it was about how much Brandon was loved. Aff followed as I’d asked him to, and his reminisce of Brandon made us laugh.

Sending off gifts
We placed the things we’d gotten him for his final send-off. The most of the things were placed next to his coffin.

Final farewell

Goodbye, Brandon. Play nice with your big brother Damien.


A cake for the boys

Rachel, the lovely lady who makes beautiful birthday cakes by commission, asked if it would be okay for her to make a cake to honor my baby boys, who would never have birthday cakes to enjoy. She took care to find a little dragon to represent Damien, and a little dinosaur to represent Brandon.

Cloud cake from the side
It’s a beautiful cake.

Cloud cake from above
I like the idea of my boys playing on soft marshmallowy cushions and spun sugar clouds.

closeup of sugar pearls and marshmallows
I mean, its not as if they’ll have tooth decay up in heaven, right?

Picture of sugar cloud and heart
I adored this little detail at the front of the cake

close up view of the dragon from above
Yes, I know that’s Toothless, but I like the thought of Damien being that cute too.

Image of dragon and dinosaur in candy
They look like they’re playing, don’t they? It’s a lovely yet at the same time heartbreaking thought. I would have loved to see them playing together here as we watched them growing up.

Funeral Flowers

The florist who made the arrangements would always stop working to coo over Brandon every time we went to the shops to do grocery shopping. She was shocked to find out we’d lost him too.

large flower arrangement

She said that she’d make a very special arrangement for Brandon.
large flower arrangement

One of the bouquets.
Bouquest of pink daisies and lillies

This is the arrangement that sat on top of Brandon’s coffin. The colors selected would have definitely caught Brandon’s eye.
Floral arrangement that sat on top of the coffin.

I love the flowers that she used.
closeup of previous arrangement. Flowers used were blue orchids, white chrysanthemums and orange roses

Peach roses are my favorite, followed by yellow, then deep red ones.
Photo of previous arrangement seen from above

I miss my boys so much.

Thank you to everyone who kept us in their thoughts, prayed for us, and helped us out in our time of sorrow. It might not seem like much to you, but it was a great help.

Rory and Rhys
Rune and Vincent
and David / Aff


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